#VisDare 18 – Inspect

Prompt: http://anonymouslegacy.blogspot.com/2013/05/visdare-18-inspect.html

Ever since Nana June’s funeral, Allie was fascinated with death. Everything around her was alive, but everything around her would die. Mama had caught her sitting on top of baby Jacob, and after the trip to the hospital and the spanking with the switch, she knew not to do that again. Besides, they never left her alone with him anymore, even though he was totally fine.

Papa’s fishing pole was hard for her to carry, so Allie dragged it to the lake. She’d take another whipping for getting it all dirty, but she just had to know. The bugs she’d squished in the driveway were too small for her to tell when they crossed over, and no one would really get that worked up about a fish.

They were jumping that day, and she caught one easily, although getting it up on the pier was a lot of work. It flopped around, gasping for breath, and Allie lay as close as she dared, looking into its mouth, waiting for that moment. And then it happened – the fish that was alive was now dead. She saw the spark leave its body and sail away. Beautiful, tremulous, and ethereal, it captivated her, and she stared at the sky long after it had soared out of sight. She knew that every living thing had a spark like that, and she knew that she had to see as many of them as possible.


4 Responses to “#VisDare 18 – Inspect”

  1. This is one of your best pieces. I’m glad you gave it the space it needed and didn’t whittle your wonderful telling into 150 words. Your premise is original and you’ve done an amazing job of pulling in the dark, foreboding of what lies ahead.

    Gosh, can you tell, I really, really liked this?! Well done!

  2. This is stunning…the ‘need-to-know’ of a child so well put across. Just read your Blues Buster piece…and Allie’s development is repugnant in itself, yet so fascinating. It’s these details that will pull me back for more, just like how Allie will kill again!

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