Finish That Thought, 2-9


“I bought the sunshine-yellow bug because Fred said he’d rather be dead than caught behind the wheel, so I knew that no matter what jerk we got for a judge, I’d come out of the divorce with something. Either I’d have this car, or Fred would kill himself.”

“And do you drive like this because you know they’ll be able to find your car after we go careening into a ravine?”

“Oh, stop worrying, Laurie.”

“I’m not worrying. I’m just being-”

“Practical. I know. You’ve always been so practical. What’s a life without a few risks?”

“A life that doesn’t involve finding your philandering husband in your bed with a neighbor.”

“And I suppose you’re happy with Odie, the Actuary’s Dream?”

“More than you’ll ever know.”

“You devil! You gotta tell me-”

“Susan! Eyes on the road! And no, I don’t gotta tell you anything. Besides, you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh, we’re back into the ‘Laurie is the smart one, Susan is the dumb one’ territory again. Great.”

“You’re not dumb. You’re-”

“Yes I am. You’ve seen my report cards.”

“I was going to say impulsive. You didn’t get good grades because you couldn’t do the work. You didn’t get good grades because you thought it was a lot more fun to see what you could get away with before Mom caught you.”

“She still won’t talk to me about that incident senior year.”

“No kidding.”

“The roses grew back, didn’t they?”

“The tree didn’t.”

“Well, no. But that was a heck of a party, you have to admit.”

“You have no idea.”

“What are you talking about – oh, really? Really? Who was it?”

“You didn’t know him.”

“That old trope? What, was he from Canada?”

“No. He was not from Canada. He was from Europe. I think.”

“Ohh, yerr-upppppp. Sure he was. Oh! Was it that exchange student staying with the Martins? What was his name, Fredo Corleone?”

“Ewww. No. He smelled of rotten feet. And you’re the one who hooked up with Mr. Fred.”

“Touche. So, if it wasn’t him, who was it? Jacques Cousteau?”

“Forget it. You won’t believe whatever I tell you anyway.”

“Oh, don’t be like that. And I thought I knew everyone at the party. What, was this some Leda and the Swan stuff – Zeus pops in, sneaks you away for the night, and then vanishes?”

“You b…what did you see?”

“That was a joke! What? Are you serious? You were Zeus’ good-time girl for a night?”

“‘Good-time girl?’ What is this, the fifties? And it wasn’t Zeus.”

“Who then? Mars? Thor? Loki?”

“You’ve seen too many comic books, dear sister.”

“You have to tell me!”

“Fine. What day of the week was that party?”

“Why does it matter? Friday? No, wait. Wednesday – Mom and Dad were at that conference, right?”

“Yep. And…”

“Wednesday? Wodin? You boinked Wodin at my party?”

“Odin, actually. And not just at your party.”

“But you told me that you’d only ever been with one man! Do you mean…Odie?”


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