ThursThreads, week 284

The glare on my wife’s face grew deeper as she thumbed off her phone and turned to me. “That was Citibank.”

“I told you I was going to get a few things.”

“A few things?”

“I needed a new dress for Joan’s wedding.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And we wanted new linens.”

“They didn’t call about a dress and some linens, Lanie.”

“There was also the negligee I got you – you know, that one you saw at Vickie’s. Though that’s kinda for me too.”

She just stared at me.

“Okay. There were a few other…things…I found on the internet.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Did they flag the one from Romania? Or Tibet?”

“Both.”

“How about the one from Peru? He’s the biggest one.”

“The biggest what? What did you buy, Lanie? Exotic pets?”

“No. Well, kind of. I mean, they’re not really pets.”

“Lanie!”

It was my turn to be quiet.

“What. Did. You. Buy?”

“Dragons.”

“Dragons.”

“Well, dragon eggs. Unless they hatched en route.”

“Dragon eggs, unless they hatched. You spent how much on these?”

“They’re real, I swear! The sellers got great Yelp reviews and everything. Wanna see the websites?”

“No, I don’t want to see the websites. What I want you do to is call and cancel the purchases. All of them. Well, not the dress. Joan is my sister.”

“I can’t. They’re getting delivered tonight.”

“They’re going to deliver us rocks, Lanie.”

“Unless they hatched!”

“I can’t understand how you could be so fool…what’s that noise?”

Outside, there was a roar.

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