Archive for October, 2018

Menage Monday, week 2×05

Posted in Uncategorized on October 29, 2018 by drmagoo


I hadn’t been dead long, and blood oozed from the scrapes and cuts I received as he dragged my naked body across the forest floor. He was planning on putting me in a hole that he hoped would keep me hidden long enough that I wouldn’t be found until long after he was dead himself, but staying hidden was really not an option, not anymore. I’d been in hiding long enough, long enough for him to find me, long enough for him to do what he wanted to me, long enough for him to finish draining a life from me after he’d had his fun. He didn’t know that I wasn’t, as a matter of fact, human, or that my kind could choose to come back after death if we felt that we hadn’t finished fulfilling our purpose in life. He didn’t know that I had access to powers that his human mind couldn’t even conceive of. It had hurt, what he had done to me, but until I felt that pain, I wasn’t sure what my purpose was, why I’d been given the gift of magic. I’d lived my life in hiding, ashamed of who I was. That life was no more, taken from me in a ramshackle cabin. My new life would be one of reparation and revenge. It would start with my attacker, but it would course throughout the world. Between one second and the next, I took the first breath of my new life and began.

#ThursThreads, week 336

Posted in Uncategorized on October 25, 2018 by drmagoo

“Nothing left in this one,” he said, crimson dripping from his lips. “Not anymore.”

I grinned. “Who’s next?”

“That’s the last of ’em.”

“The others are all empty?” I couldn’t keep the whine out of my voice. “But I’m so hungry.”

He put a hand on my shoulder, patting it paternalistically. “I remember my first night. Woke up after turning and devoured half a busload. Burped for, like, a full minute afterward. Never realized how much air you took in while sucking. Took me a while to refine my technique.

“Let’s go see if we can find you someone else to eat.”

“Yes, Master.” I didn’t know what to call him.

“I love when the new kids call me Master. Now, should we head towards fraternity row? Easy pickings there, but even we can get drunk off that blood. The hospital’s always too chaotic on Saturday nights. No basketball game, so the arena district will be dead.” He chuckled. “The wrong kind of dead.”

I just waited. All I wanted was some blood. I wasn’t picky. But he was in charge.

He pulled out his phone and started scrolling. “No. No. Maybe…no. No. Yes! That’s it. There’s a showing of Nosferatu at the Art tonight. Wanna go teach those posers a lesson or two?”

A dark room, dozens of warm bodies, and more than a little bloodlust? I nodded, hoping I wasn’t drooling.

It was going to take a while to get used to the fangs.

Menage Monday, week 2×04

Posted in Uncategorized on October 22, 2018 by drmagoo

The two men frog-marched their friend down the street and through the door.

“Alex here needs a tattoo!”

Alex fought to get away. “No, no. Please no. I’ll do it right next time, I promise!”

The tattoo artist looked up from the skull and crossbones she was doing and said, “You’ve got to get your friend in line or I’m not doing it. Against the law to tattoo someone against their will.”

“Oh, c’mon! He deserves it.”

“What did he do?”

“He didn’t vote. Said it didn’t matter who got elected.”

The tattoo artist nearly dropped her tool. “What a…” She paused and looked down at the rebellious teenager in front of her. “You’ll have to wait, sweetie. I’ve got to take care of this.”

Marching up to Alex, she grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him down with surprising strength. “You dumbass! Fuck the law, you’re getting done, and now.” Turning to his friends, “His forehead, I presume?”

“Damn straight.”

And that’s hope Alex spent the rest of his life with “Blame me, I didn’t vote” tattooed on his forehead.

Monster Mash 2018

Posted in Uncategorized on October 22, 2018 by drmagoo


Al (for short) the demon looked at the clock on the wall. Again. One minute had passed, just like the last time he’d checked. He didn’t know why the summons hadn’t come, but he was worried. The witch had called him – by name (which wasn’t Al, of course) – every Halloween at eight pm sharp for 76 years. When she started, she could barely have been called a witch. Fourteen if she was a day, stumbling over the ritual phrases time and time again until she got it right, spending hours getting the sigils and ingredients arranged just so. Al almost didn’t answer the call – she had used the wrong kind of wormwood oil – but he was curious about who had spent so much time and energy trying to summon him.

And Al was a curious demon. Curious in that he was curious about the worlds outside his own. The world of demons wasn’t one of fire and brimstone, as many humans imagined, and Al looked, mostly, human – as long as he kept his clothes and hat on. Some demons were all about the mayhem and torture, to be sure, but Al wanted to know whatever he could about people and places and things. So he went to see the witch that first night.

Melody had been flush with excitement and terror when Al showed up. She bowed to him with the requisite respect and then told him what she wanted him to do. Her brother’s number had been called for the draft and she was terrified. The war was so awful and she couldn’t bear to picture him cold in the night with people shooting at him. She wanted Al to find a way to end the war and protect her brother.

That wasn’t something within Al’s power. And he knew that any being with enough power to do something that massive would be a horror greater than the world had ever known. So he did what he could – he broke Melody’s brother’s leg so that he couldn’t go to war.

In the years to come, Al learned that humans could unleash horrors of their own and that maybe a demon lord would have been a better choice. He also was called back every year to help Melody with something. An overly-handsy boy at school. A boss who wouldn’t give her a promotion. A boyfriend who thought he had the rights to use his fists.

It wasn’t all violence, either. With his preternatural speed and strength, Al was useful for lots of tasks. Chopping up a tree that had fallen after a lightning strike. Moving a piano and a roll-top desk after her husband hurt his back. And eventually, just keeping an old woman company.

Al knew that the other demons would laugh at him if they saw him sipping tea with Melody, watching for trick-or-treaters and exchanging stories. She shared his penchant for curiosity, and she loved the stories he would share about this or that aspect of the demons’ world.

Al also knew that humans didn’t live for centuries, not like he would. And when the clock turned to 8:01, then 8:02, then 8:10, he began to fear the worst. But he couldn’t just go to her – the door between worlds couldn’t open, not even on Halloween, without her summons.

The time stretched on. An hour. Then two. And then he heard it. It wasn’t Melody’s voice, but it was a summons. He leapt through the portal thinking that he’d do whatever this person wanted and then see if he could find his friend. But when he got through the portal, he froze at the sight before him. Melody wasn’t there, but a young girl – about the same age as she’d been when Al had first been summoned – stood there in the pentagram, a photo clutched in her hands and tears streaming down her cheek.

“You came. I tried for so long. I didn’t know if I could. I didn’t.”

“Who are you, child?” Al’s voice boomed, though he boomed it as softly as he could, trying not to frighten the girl any more than he had to.

“Kaylee, sir. She was my great grandmother. Melody, I mean. She said you’d help me. When she was dy…dying.” Al saw that the picture in her hands was indeed that of his friend, and that the eyes of the girl in front of her were her great grandmother’s eyes.

Of course Al would help her. For Melody.

747 words


#ThursThreads, week 335

Posted in Uncategorized on October 18, 2018 by drmagoo


There is a theory, the king said, that every decision creates multiple universes, one for each possible choice. When you choose grape jelly over strawberry jam or orange marmalade for your breakfast toast, you create three universes – one where you enjoyed each flavor.

That’s silly, said the queen. That means there would be an infinite number of universes, some differentiated by things as insignificant as toast toppings and others by major choices, such as whether to start a war. Who, she said, would sort it all out?

Well no one, said the king. They would just all exist simultaneously.

All higgledy-piggeldy? The queen asked. That seems frightfully inconvenient.

Well it doesn’t affect anyone, you see, continued the king, because while they’re all out there, we only exist in one.

The others are all empty?

No, no. There are copies of us in each, each copy having followed a different path into a different universe. That’s what I was thinking about, this morning, that there must be billions of me out there, each living slightly different lives. I feel like maybe that’s what our dreams are, visitations from other universes where there are other versions of ourselves.

Have you learned anything from these other versions of you, asked the queen.

Not yet. All they do is glare at me, so I don’t know much about them. But they sure don’t seem to like me, said the king, who then started a war just to feel better about himself.

Menage Monday, week 2×03

Posted in Uncategorized on October 15, 2018 by drmagoo


From: Human Resources

Re: Daydreaming

Pursuant to the Employee Handbook section G subsection 9, you are permitted 15 minutes per eight-hour shift of unproductive daydreaming, as long as your thoughts are in accord with the approved list (see the Handbook for the list, updated weekly). You have been found in violation of the following:

  1. Unapproved topic – weapons. On August 13 and September 9, you pictured yourself as a World War I soldier. Remediation: You must document 4 hours of anti-violence therapy by the start of business on October 22 or you will be terminated.
  2. Unapproved topic – fantastic creatures. Twelve times between August 1 and September 30, you pictured imagined creatures that have never existed, namely a winged unicorn, a basilisk, and myriad non-human sentient creatures. Remediation: You must participate in 8 hours of zoological therapy by the start of business on October 22 or you will be terminated.
  3. Unapproved topic – dark themes. On August 19, you imagined humanity as adrift in a sea of storms, unable to right itself, nothing to it but pain. Remediation: You must document 4 hours of pro-optimism therapy by the start of business on October 22 or you will be terminated.
  4. Excessive daydreaming – For the months of August and September, you averaged 22.9 minutes of daydreaming per eight-hour shift. You will work 481.9 uncompensated minutes, with no daydreaming allowance by the start of business on October 22 or you will be terminated.

Your prompt attention to these matters is appreciated.


#ThursThreads, week 334

Posted in Uncategorized on October 11, 2018 by drmagoo

“I just need another week.”

“You said that last week. And the week before.”

“And I’m going to keep saying it until I’m ready to say something different.” He sighed and fixed me with a withering glare. “You know that the other option is that I just tell you to go fuck yourself, right? Don’t rush me, and you can hold out hope. Rush me, and I’m out.”

“Okay, okay. I just can’t wait forever, you know.”

“Of course I know. We’re only in this mess because of you and your impulsiveness, but don’t treat me as if I’m an idiot. I know the time constraints, I know why there are time constraints, and I will let you know when there’s something to know.” We sat there in heated silence for twenty, thirty seconds. I fought the whole time to keep my mouth from betraying me again. “And, frankly, if I never let you know, and too much time passes, then you’ll know. You want this more than I do, so you’ll just have to goddamned wait for me.”

This time, I couldn’t stop myself. “That’s not fair, and you know it!”

“Of course it’s not fair. It wasn’t fair when you got us into this mess. It wasn’t fair that I wasn’t given a choice as to whether I had to deal with this shit. So boo-fuckin-hoo.”

I took a deep breath. “Just the one more week, then?”

He smiled, wickedly. “As far as you know.”