In all the years since creatures first evolved in the universe, two things had never happened in Hell. It had never stopped snowing (contrary to popular belief) and the Apocalypse Bell had never rung. The Devil had grown tired of waiting for it to ring and started a contest among the damned – anyone who could guess, to the millisecond, what time the bell *would* eventually ring would get reincarnated back on the planet of their choosing. Sure, there was a risk, but what the Home, He figured. Life is full of risks. So is death.
Thus, it was assured that when the bell did ring, no one would really be prepared.
Everyone jumped at the sound, for it pierced even the 20-foot snowdrifts that most beings had to wade through – naked – as they went about their tortures. The Devil jumped most of all, first in shock, then in glee.
“It’s time! It’s finally time!” He hadn’t been out of Hell in so long that he felt like a child on Christmas morning (on the one world that still celebrated such foolishness). “Yippie!” He said, much to the amusement of the demons and the damned. “Yahoo!”
Turning, He ran for the portal to the Universe and, after fumbling with the lock, burst through to see…utter devastation. And God, smiling at what She had wrought.
“Did you leave anything? For me?” the Devil asked, aghast at the nothingness he saw.
“Nope.” God shrugged. She could be the biggest dick when she wanted